est. whenever you gave up
THE ONLINE GRAVEYARD
A quiet place to bury the dreams, goals, and side projects you’ve let go of
Rest in peace, little ambitions
Humans on Mars by 2024
2016 – 2024
“The rocket was reusable. The deadline was not.”
The gym membership I never used
2026 – 2026
“We tried. We failed. Now deep beneath my fat, sleeps those abs!”
Twitter (The Bird App)
2006 – 2023
“Renamed, rebranded, still can't edit a tweet from 2014.”
My Crypto Portfolio
2021 – 2022
“Diamond hands turned to dust. Not financial advice.”
Learning German
2023 – 2026
“Duolingo finally won.”
My YouTube Channel
2021 – 2021
“Uploaded three videos. Bought a €600 camera.”
My Ex
2 years – ‘we should talk’
“Deleted the photos. Kept the trust issues.”
The Situationship
3 months ago – ‘so what are we?’
“Never had a label. Still ended in a breakup we couldn't explain to our friends.”
Infrastructure Week
2017 – TBD
“Announced again. And again. And again. Still waiting on the ribbon-cutting.”
Bipartisan Cooperation
1776 – TBD
“Congress held a moment of silence for it. It's been silent ever since.”
The Full Epstein Files Release
Promised – Still Promised
“Every administration says ‘soon.’ Buried deeper than the truth ever was.”
Bruce Banner's Anger Management
2008 – 2026
“Tried therapy. Tried smashing things instead. Only one of those was covered by insurance.”
Peter Parker's Secret Identity
2002 – 2021
“Everyone found out. Then everyone forgot. Then everyone found out again. Rest in peace, anonymity.”
Tony Stark's Retirement Plan
2008 – 2023
“Said ‘I am Iron Man’ one too many times. Should have just stayed at the lake house.”
The Newsletter
2022 – 2023
“Issue #1 promised a weekly schedule. There was no issue #2.”
Guitar Lessons
2020 – 2020
“Learned three chords. Wonderwall remains unfinished.”
Couch to 5K
2024 – 2024
“Made it to week two. The couch called me back.”
The Novel I Was Writing
2019 – 2020
“Made it to chapter three. The main character never got a name.”
My AI Startup
2025 – 2026
“We added AI to a to-do list. Nobody cared.”